Don’t wait for life

Enjoy it

Since I’ve come to France, my life has been a whirlwind. It has been fraught with good laughs, sad cries, and tough decisions being made. This has really made me think about how I spend my time. Being away from family and friends sure is hard, but when you think about it, only so much happiness can be derived from those that you love, which makes it is easy to find yourself chasing after other things that make you happy, be it people, places, or experiences.

Back in September, right before a significant event in my life, I came across this video on YouTube from a relatively new creator. It struck me in a way that made me rethink my life and my pursuit of happiness. Am I really just waiting for happiness to come? Am I taking steps to ensure my happiness?

I could do whatever I wanted with no obligations and no excuses.

Living alone on the other side of the globe from the majority of your friends and family really makes you rethink your obligations to yourself and to others. I do, now, go back home once a year, but is that an obligation to myself or to my family and friends? Most definitely an obligation to myself, one that I value and look forward to. Really the only obligations I have here are to myself (enjoyment of life) and to the French Republic (to support myself and not to rely on their services). Alright, now what? I have two major obligations, one of which is to myself. So theoretically, I can do anything I want to keep myself happy.

Younger me would be in awe of the freedom, oh how much I could do with my life, though it’s not that simple, or at least doesn’t feel that simple. It’s almost like life has become a repetitive motion, or a cyclical order of events—enjoy my vacation, get home and prepare for going back to work with a smile, getting back to work, something happens and then I’m just waiting for my next escape—waiting for the “next big thing.” Though I forget about the now, the cotton candy skies (though not much of that now that it’s winter), the French flags blowing in the wind, or hearing the waves of the Channel through the city streets with the chatter of the locals. It’s like I’m choosing when to be free, and when to be unhappy, like there’s set times for life and a required amount of repetition.

But one can't just limit happiness to small or short snippets of the day. Yes, they can bring in pieces of joy into your life—recently while waiting in line to renew my residence permit I caught a glimpse of a cotton candy sunrise through the buildings across the street—but prioritizing it, not thinking of activities that bring you joy as indulgent, should be part of it. Going out for a tea and to read my book, meeting a friend for lunch, taking a trip to Paris, these should be normal things that I can add to my life to enjoy it more (okay maybe not the regular trips to Paris, then I’ll just be broke!). Breaking the cyclical wait-and-enjoy pattern.

Not even a few months ago I used to send letters like a serial killer murders. I always had an outgoing letter. Now, I’m too tired, I want to get in bed. Why read when I can watch YouTube? Replying to my texts? Yea right. Now life is full of excuses. Am I really tired or am I trying to avoid stepping out of the routine?

How you spend your days is how you spend your life.

Really, in the end, your life is an accumulation of your days. If your days are spent waiting for the next best thing, or waiting for the next time to enjoy life, how do we know it will actually come? Life can just stop at any time–we are not guaranteed anything more than the moment we live in.

So perhaps the secret isn't in waiting for the next big adventure, but in treating each day as an adventure in itself. After all, isn't that why I moved abroad in the first place? To experience life differently, to challenge myself, to grow? The magic of living in France isn't just in the moments of travel and discovery, but in the daily dance of navigating life in a foreign culture, in the small victories of managing daily tasks in a second language, in the quiet moments of reflection as I walk through the historic streets of small towns.

Happy adventuring!

Ahmed

Things I’m enjoying

In Defence of Food by Michael Pollan - this book, written by an author I really enjoy, takes a deep dive into the history and context of the nutritionist food culture in North America and how we can actually lead more nutritious lives, because the way nutrition is currently studied is limited to the ways science can understand it.

Girl Guides Chocolatey Mint Cookies - luckily my parents bought me two packs of my favourite girl guide cookies just before my trip back home for Thanksgiving and I’ve been enjoying one or two or five every time I open the cupboard.

I was waiting for you to die to kill myself

- a new blog created by one of my dearest mentors, and the lady that sets the standard of how I want to be when I grow up. It’s a compendium of memoirs and recipes from her life, a little window into what she lives.

My aunt’s bread pudding recipe (adapted)

375 g heavy cream

150 g eggs (about 3)

100 g maple syrup (or brown sugar or both)

Vanilla and cinnamon as you enjoy

Pinch of salt

Leftover bread (I prefer croissants or challah - specifically Marysol’s challah recipe)

1 cup blueberries (fresh, frozen, normal, wild, just not dried)

1. Combine the cream, eggs, maple syrup, vanilla, cinnamon, and salt in a bowl and whisk until homogenous.

2. Line a 9x13” baking pan with parchment paper and grease the sides.

3. Cut the bread into bite-size pieces and spread them across the baking pan.

4. Sprinkle the blueberries on top, getting an equal layer across the entire pan.

5. Pour the cream mixture over top, covering all of the bread.

6. Using a piece of plastic wrap, cover the entire pan, pushing the plastic to contact the bread. Place this in the fridge overnight.

7. The next morning, preheat the oven to 325°F/160°C. When the oven is preheated, slide the pan into the oven and bake for approximately 45 minutes, until a toothpick inserted into the middle comes out damp, not wet, definitely not dry. Look for two or three crumbs attached to the toothpick, more would mean it’s undercooked.

Allow to cool slightly before serving with fresh fruit and maple syrup.